Snorri Thingvallir (haixo) wrote in satanofpathosia,
Snorri Thingvallir

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Vaginal dumpings

A long, long time ago, before all the flowers in Pathosia had turned to eternal hell flames and the trees to Satan dildos, lived a man named Coque D'ass. Now in Coque's time, Satan's anal gasses had not yet completely covered the sky like a mental patient's shit covered blanket, so he could still make out the stars in the night sky. One dark and smelly day he asked his grandfather, Ole' Fuckamaslut, where the stars and the planets came from. When the old man heard this his yellow, glassy eyes filled with what one might mistake for tears (it was actually his allergy to the putrid fumes caused by Satan's 17,189,383 gallons of daily vaginal waste dumped into the harbor which then vaporized into the air). Fuckamaslut sighed and recited the tale that he knew so well:

"In the beginning there was no light, and there was no word either, for fuck's fucking sake! There was only the cherry and the fatal loin. They had been slowly moving together for what you and I would call an eternity. When they finally met the cherry popped and expanded to infinity. With that burst of excitement, the fatal loin came for days, exhausting it's sperm supply into the vast new universe. These are the stars. As for the giant cunt that is the universe, several eggs got lost and fermented. As time went on, the eggs expanded with fungus and a new force that we call life came into being. These are the planets. Every once in a while a sperm, or star will catch sight of a planet, or egg, and come crashing down, only to be met by a thick fungus wall. These are the comets."

"But what about the sun?" asked Coque. But it was too late, Just as the words left his lips, Coque watched his Grandfather fall on his back dead. He had taken his last breath of poisonous skankfart gas. After the funeral (in the pathosian religion, a funeral consists of dumping the body into Shiela's vagina), Coque set out on an adventure to learn about the world and to find out, what exactly the sun is.
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